I owe this song to my friends

Some years ago I found a song by Tom Paxton that captured perfectly in its melody and its lyrics how I felt about a gal that walked out of my life. The breakup was full of every emotion to ever be associated with a heart-ache. The days that immediately followed were the worst. They were full of moments where I would realize that she was gone and I would panic. It was a physical experience that began in the pit of my stomach and moved up to my chest to suffocate me. I kept having imaginary conversations with her where I sued for her to not leave. In others I was angry, but mostly I was sad. I don’t remember how I found this song, but it became healing for me in a way that prayer or meditation never did. It’s a good song (take some time to listen to it).

The last thing on my mind

I am yet to listen to another song that so simply and profoundly expresses the sense of impending loss, the realization of one’s own foolish failures, and the quiet desperation of hoping that it’s not completely over. It still heals me when I listen to it.

…will there be not a trace left behind. Well, I could have loved you better, didn’t mean to be unkind. You know that was the last thing on my mind…”