Marty Romero

The non-update update post

I use to listen to this song a lot when we first moved to Ellensburg. It use to bring me so much peace! Not so much anymore. Almost nothing does.

Here it is. Don’t judge!

By now in recent years I would already have posted my fall update. What I have done, learned, or become in the previous year, and what I hoped to do in the next. Not this time.

This is all I have

  1. My mother believes that I am being manipulated by my wife to destroy her
  2. My wife makes me feel like an asshole to be tolerated*

I feel so alone, lonely (those two are different), sad, and defeated. The worst part is the facade that I have to put on in front of everyone. I am tired.

*This is an exaggeration to be sure. I too am guilty of doing things to make her feel the same or worse in return. But it is how I feel by the passive refusal to do life with me and be my partner. I know what you are asking. Why do you stay? Because I love her! But it is making my spirit shrivel inside to be so independant and do life almost on my own.

Jose Romero